Sorry huge Jurassic Fan Rant incoming :
So today i found out Jurassic World trailer was available on Youtube, i'll put the link at the end of my sentimental fan rant...
So i watched it, carefully, just slowly moving the little timeline after a few watch, trying to really print those pictures into my mind, trying to understand, again, dear Hollywood, what the fuck are you even trying to achieve?
Just call it terranova the movie or dinosaur corny rampage, or jason voorhes cells got accidentally into our lab cause we always hire the worst scientist ever just so they fuck up everything even though they have a huge scientist salary and scientist white coat, and glasses too !! (okay that one is a bit long) whatever but please stop raping even more one of my favorite licence of all time, it's kinda like if Michael Bay were to take the lead on a money-making-Lord of the rings-sequel...
Problem IS actually that this movie IS called Jurassic "something"
It could even be a cool movie without even being called Jurassic anything, but noooooooooooooooooo!!!
You dear hollywood, precisely Universal studios, even you Spielberg, can't hold yourselves putting money in this kind of project, can't you even direct it Steven? Nope...
This movie is called Jurassic something for two reasons
1/ It's a good excuse to do a Monster movie when you're out of any original reasons and ideas.
2/ You're sure the fan base is gonna have a hard time holding themselves, even just if out of curiosity, from going to see it in the theaters...
Just so people stop blabbering about "Spielberg's name is in the trailer" "Executive producer" only means "I've put my money in", period.
And should i remind you that he was also "i've put my money in" for Jurassic Park III ? Considering the results of that last one, it's nothing close to reassuring...
That's so sad, like, really sad, it's not like it's overlly dramatic that a popcorn movie like that sees the light, mankind has biggest problem to deal with right now.
And to be honest, i'm even sure this movie has cool entertaining moments to offer, i liked Chris Pratt in Guardians of the galaxy, he's a popcorn actor for now, i don't ask him to deliver a dramatic perfomance and make me shed a tear, so i'm not here to say "I've not seen it but this movie's gonna suck" like most Youtubers love to do.
But still, if you think "but this is just a trailer" i just want to tell you "you never learn".
Considering how much possibilities there were in the first place with a licence like that, look at what we've got, and how much money is involved again? Estimated around 150M $ (need to confirm), not the biggest budget ever, but still, That is one big pile of (shit) money...
Also, so i get this one out of the way right now, the trailer music
.... I mean, please...
A Jurassic movie trailer with some sort of Hans Zimmer brammmm all the way?
It's like producers nowadays really like to shit on talent, John Williams has been able through his ENTIRE career to create wonderful soundtracks for all the movies he worked on, creating melodies that even now, after decades, people can still remember and feel nostalgic about, melodies not only there to "sound pretty or cool" but really working as a part of a movie, even acting sometimes as a whole character expressing feelings and telling the story without words and working perfectly with the pictures.
But what do we have again? The basic recipe for a money making trailer, brammm brammm, here goes the action brammmm
I think you forgot a few explosions here and there, learn your basics! geez... BRAMMMM !!
But let's be fair, that's the trailer, the point here is just to sound "blockbuster", the composer for the movie is gonna be Michael Giacchino, not a bad choice and i'm sure he's gonna be able to pull out something interesting, even if to me, you can't do a proper marvelous Jurassic movie without John Williams ears.
But still, let's be honest, Giacchino has created really cool soundtracks like the intro scene of the first Abrams Star Strek which was really sad and beautiful, or the Original soundtrack of LOST, which made me cry more than once (yes i'm a pussy, so what?)
Then, you got a few weird moments in this trailer, just making you feel how stupid the cinema industry considers you, in JP3 the most awesome character of the licence, aka the T-rex, was killed by some random bigger dinosaur that you don't remember the name of cause you don't give a shit...
That was some really nice way of taking out the awesomeness of Jurassic Park in one single scene.
So now that the T-rex is not scary anymore what should we do?
Ho, i've a wonderful idea, let's make the Raptors allies with Chris Pratt, i'm sure it's because of his half alien half human blood he got from Guardians of the Galaxy...
Are you not yet convinced that you're stupid enough my dear audience? Well, you know what, in every monster movie, there is a really important basic rule, if a "monster" is "super intelligent" it means he's gonna kill everything that moves, yeah, because you know, out of our human intelligence we create stuffs (like useless killing machines in that case), but when you are a monster, if you are really super (but like reeeeeaaaaaally) intelligent, the only thing you want to accomplish in life is just eat a lot of fresh meat...
Especially if this meat is wrapped in clothes cause i guess it tastes better than dino flesh? XD
I know, in the first movie, they were kinda pushing hard aswell on the fact the raptor were pretty damn smart, but not THAT smart.
Here it seems to be the main plot twist... that's why i'm assuming this dino is gonna be really smart and that they are gonna piss me off adressing it during this entire movie.
An Highly Intelligent Hybrid, genetically engineered, in a theme park with families, childrens and all.
If you speak hollywood-science-language you know it could not be made an herbivorous in the first place...
I don't know what to expect anymore, but i know what i would love to see happen in the cinema industry, i would like producers to consider the fact, that if the only thing they care about is make money, to be honest, i don't care, but do you think making a SMARTER movie, would make LESS money?
I don't know about you, but i tend to think that's actually how they feel, they feel that if they do a smart movie they are gonna make less money out of it, proof is, for more than a decade, the same recipe has been used again and again, they make money out of garbage and keep using an old licence just so they can pump it out of his little remaining money making potential.
Also, i said something earlier about the fans who would want to see the movie because, yeah, it's still part of the Jurassic Park licence, and as a fan of the first one, despite of the average second one, and the total failure dishonor that was the third, i've to admit, that i'm curious, and if i get the chance, i'll go see this Jurassic World in theaters, that's the problem.
I love cinema, i want to see cool movies, i want to have fun, i want to escape the real world for a few 120 minutes, but it doesn't mean i'm okay with the fact that they avoid doing great movies on purpose, for some obscure greedy reason, it's not like there is no people of talent able to do something amazing, and i'd gladly throw my money at a movie if it was awesome, that's my point, people would be even more happy to go to the cinema if Hollywood stopped seeing them as braindead...
So, i guess i'll stop there, i just wanted to leave a trace of my opinion on this one trailer, and maybe, maybe in the future i'll go back to that rant and actually change my mind if the movie is great, but not to sound cocky, i'm rarely wrong when it comes to judging a movie out of his trailer...
Still, like in every cases, i hope i'm wrong ^^
Because you know :
"Boy, do I hate being right all the time!"
Jurassic World Trailer